Reverse Advertisements

Have you lately been wondering, how did you get addicted to these silicone based devices? How they slowly replaced many items of our lives into a virtual UI with finger touch without the human touch? 

So to deal with this problem, I present to you a startup idea of "Reverse Advertisements". This is better explained with the following examples:

Q. What if you want to listen sounds of Nature in your concrete jungle ?

For this we have launched exclusive 'Blue Manakin' earphones that carries a battery back up of whopping 2 minutes (just like your attention span). Exactly! Who wants that old school battery backup of 10 hours which you'll anyhow waste on doom-scrolling. So, now listen to the birds chirping in the park near you. 

Q. What if you are an introvert and you don't know how to talk to people ?

For this we have launched a 'high speed data plan of 10 KB'. That too in minus 4G technology. Exactly! Who wants a 1080p video? We will provide you the video in 144p, super low quality in which you'll face difficulty to see anything and hence you can look towards nature. Because without the clear video, it has now turned into a refurbished podcast. So, now you can start conversations with real people by greeting them with 'Like, Share, Subscribe'.

Q. What if you are a dopamine addict and now wants to scroll less Reels ?

For this we have launched 'StairCase', a mobile phone with exclusive feature that it will only work when you climb 5 floors of stairs. Eventually, you give up doing so and now the black screen has your mirroring face staring back at you. Then you realise why you are single and then again start conversations with real people by swiping people left, right and center on a screen.

Q. What if you use too much ChatGPT and now you think it is taking away the ability of independent thinking?

For this we have launched 'read your thoughts 1.1' (a.k.a. Instagram = Deemed University') application. This will let you observe your thoughts in your head with the observer loci. Eventually you'll not be able to locate your observer's loci (algorithm bias) in your head, forget about the thoughts. So after-all you'll forget everything, and keep blaming others as 'WhatApp University' zoombies.

Q. What if you have like 10 application IDs and you keeping forgetting passwords?

For this we have launched 'forget your ex 3.1' application. This app itself has a password for all your passwords, where all your credit card PINs are stored. Eventually you forget the password of this application itself, so now you are left with no password and can escape capitalism trap of external validation. The void in your soul will then be filled by 'JCB' on roads.

-Rakesh